recluse.

i feel like a recluse today. if i were truly reclusive, i would not be blogging. but, this is about as much social interaction as i desire today. ha!

it's windy out and i am still in my pj's, not wanting to brave the elements and run errands. i feel like it's a good day for an evaluation of my life's priorities or something.

one thing i am thinking about today is how i am such a pro at taking myself too seriously. that's why i don't write  on here half the time! geeze, i've got problems. i was sifting through my old xanga (yes, i had a xanga and i kept at that for 7 years!) my word, i wrote in that thing alllll the time! i need to quit this whole 'i'm so serious' thing. it's pretty annoying. i was primarily looking through my xanga because i was digging up some old song lyrics i knew i had posted on there years ago.

 but it led me to be so grateful for how my life has turned out! honestly, God is so faithful. i say 'turned out' as if my life is randomly just good now. but, that's not what i mean. i have come to see that nothing in the kingdom of God is random. i am humbled as i look back on all the different seasons so far in my short 26 years on this earth and the beautiful orchestration of the hand of God in every season of my life and all that he has allowed or ordained. it's just awesome!

i think i have been taking myself too seriously because i am a part of a church that is so solid doctrinaly and i don't want anything to be theologically off. and God has shifted so much of my thinking that i often think i could, in a moment, revert back to the ways i used to think and write from that place. but, i just have to come to terms with the places i have been and the way that God has used all things for my good because i love him.

that's kind of a huge relief!

a few things i am excited for this week:

- me and my hubbies up coming show
- finding the right paint color for my 'accent wall' in my living room
- reading the next few chapters of jane eyre for book club (how have i never been in a book club before?!)
- learning how to make origami butterflies!

love,

bethanybelisa

songwriting. lalala. ;)

Today my honey and i are working on a set for our VERY FIRST SHOW TOGETHER EVER IN THE HISTORY OF OUR LIVES!!!! EEK! we have 15 days 'till the show. it's going to be great!

if you couldn't tell, i am a tad bit excited;)

here is a sneak peak: some lyrics i wrote for matt last fall.

WHY

10/10

I know that I let you down

It wont keep you from coming ‘round

I know that’s you’ll let me down

But I will keep in this love we’ve found

Yes, I will keep in this love we’ve found

It won’t always be so hard

Believe that this is only a season

Hold onto hope within your heart

Someday we may see the reason

Someday we may see the reason

Why, why, why, why

Why, why, why

Someday we may see the reason

Someday we may see the reason why

this song is really folksy, which i love and is how i write a lot lately. really excited to be arranging it with my love and singing it with him. 

we know that music is part of our calling but it's not about us. we won't move forward unless we know God's hand is on it because anything we do in our own strength will just fall to the ground. so, unless God builds this house, it will not stand! (i LOVE the Word of God!) i have not wanted to ever pursue it before because i have not known peace in my heart. but now, being married to my perfect counter-part, i know a rightness in things. ahhh, the peace of God that calms our human hearts and wandering minds! AND the perfect timing of God. sometimes there just needs to be ONE THING put into place but that one thing might take a bazillion years to shift, but once it does, the timing is right and what you've been waiting for can finally happen. what a great God to be so perfect in his sovereignty and ordinance of our lives.

;)

love,

bethany belisa

Living for...

Eternity!


This is something I have been mulling over in my spirit for a while. Some of these thoughts are from my journal.

"Eternity is no place for struggle. The things that compete for our attention now have no place in eternity. Desperation for eternal perspective has to come to the people of God. We can become so complacent in the things of the Spirit but there is so much more for right now! MORE NOW! ETERNITY IS NOW! There is grace to forsake struggle right now because none of these things hold  a candle to Jesus.

Fasting and prayer: Jesus is worthy of us having no distractions! Our decisions are not inconsequential. The fruit of these decisions is fruit and greater awareness of the Holy Spirit. We choose to lose fruit in our lives when we ignore the grace given to us to live victorious lives.

This IS an adventure to us, but not to God, as in, He is sovereign over all things; nothing surprises Him! All of this uncharted territory we are walking in is new to us but it is not unfamiliar to God. ' Come up here, see what I see!' God is calling out to us to receive his sight, which is a new level of sight for us. Peace in chaos stems from this sight. A strong identity in an insecure world comes from this sight."

We can ask for his perspective and believe His word that says when we sow in the Spirit, we will reap in the spirit. We can believe that when we obey commands to fast and pray in the secret place, that it is productive by the Holy Spirit within us! HE is producing in US eternal things, including eternal perspective.

This is so encouraging!

Love,

Bethany

Thankfulness list: 50 things

So, last night my hubby told me I should take the time today to write a thankfulness list. He told me to think of and write down 50 things I am thankful for. Last night I was not having a great night. I was comparing myself with other people, doubting my gifting and ability; it just wasn't good. He told me that gratitude will be my weapon when it comes to my insecurities; getting my eyes off of myself and onto God and all he has
done.

So, today, I took my husband's advice and came up with 50 things I am thankful for. Let me tell you, I feel great! I feel so full of joy and I have a grateful heart for all of the things on this list, big and small. Thankfulness IS a powerful tool against our enemy who is trying to distract us all the time. THIS is a great way to spend a chunk of time, to re-focus, to just tell God all the things you are thankful for. My heart changed in about an hours time, being given to getting my eyes off of myself and onto HIM! I will type up my list so you can read it.

1. a warm house
2. food to eat everyday
3. a loving and gracious husband
4. great in-laws
5. great parents
6. great siblings
7. technology-to keep in touch with people
8. my relationship with God
9. 2 part time jobs
10. a great worship team
11. humble leaders
12. a thriving Church: Awesome home group!
13. enough clothes
14. vision
15. worship music: the whole idea of songs to God!
16. pianos 
17. summer-time heat
18. memories
19. adventure

20. chicago: what a place!

21. coffee

22. bodies of water

23. air planes

24. weddings

25. make up

26. a washer and dryer in our basement

27. my ability to still run

28. the Bible

29. day planners

30. sticky notes

31. concerts

32. blogs

33. sermons

34. sunlight

35. books

36. my engagement ring

37. great friendships

38. education

39. wise counsel

40. laughter

41. great neighborhood

42. having a voice so that i can sing to God

43. responsibility

44. emotions

45. our car

46. chocolate

47. taste buds

48. fragrance : spring time air! NOT gallons of perfume! :)

49.  warm greetings: hugs and smiles

50. a good pair of winter mittens

there you have it! my thankfulness list! it is a great discipline if you are just in a negative place and you can't see the good. 

happy listing!

love,

bethany