words from me to you.

so, i over complicate things in my head on a regular basis. and in line with this trend i have over complicated blogging over these last 6-8 months since God began to speak to me about writing pretty consistently and taking this here blog more seriously.

some of my thoughts that i had that made this way too complicated were:

1. i'll have to take a writing class and get really serious about grammar and proper usage of the english language. i need to get serious. (i know, right?) i love school and i love to learn, but that's not my point here.

2. if i don't do the above(thought number 1) i will face criticism of all kinds and i don't want to volunteer to be ripped apart.

3. i have to really know my stuff(topics i write about) if i am going to be a writer. and people that really know their stuff will put me in my place if i don't. here's the thing, i just really love accuracy and i respect those who are accurate, those who 'know their stuff'. knowledge impresses me. but that's one of the very things that has kept me so bound up, unable to write and it is pretty much based in fear of man if i am honest with myself, honest with God and now, with all of you.

4. the blog-a-sphere ( i really hope this is a word i made up! i just started calling this whole blog world the 'blog-a-sphere' last week! i'm totally cool if i didn't make it up though...) is a phenomenon to me, the entire concept. i mean, think about it; the entire world can be influenced and impacted through a BOX! (i know, i know, television and radio have been around for ages. but this is different. bear with me as i unpack this.)

 i feel a huge weight when it comes to blogging. and i know that it is right for me to feel this. what i am getting at is the power of the written word; when someone, a person is tucked up with or zoned in to the words that another person has written. there is something really powerful and sobering about this entire idea: books ( all kinds) written by human hands, typed up with such care, the raw stuff of our humanness coming through on a page, the genius of the human intellect, the passion of the human soul and the reasons that drive people to pick up these books, any book, and read through these pages, I mean, they are pretty profound reasons.

they are wanting to connect with another human soul, they are wanting to expand their knowledge and/or experience and a very profound thing occurs when this exchange begins: the reader opens up himself to be effected. i mean, that's why we read anything, right? that's why we have text books, to add knowledge passed down that others have discovered. novels, it is an experience that can expand your imagination and grip your heart and cause you to feel so alive and connected to the characters; the plot becomes your plot. it's intense! self help books and spiritual growth books; the same reasons are their behind every purchase of this kind: to grow and change as a person, to somehow better your life with what you are about to read. there is an expectation. even poetry, hallmark cards, and personal letters all convey human emotion to another human, it is an attempt to speak to someone, straight to someone in a particular place.

(or it is an expression of the deepest part of the soul, maybe written privately without the intentions of future publication, ie, the shadow of the almighty by elizabeth elliot in which she published journal entries and letters from her late husband jim elliot; his words were compelling, full of conviction and i just knew he had a dynamic life in God by reading the words from his very journal. that book changed my life!)

there is something very exciting, almost thrilling, about reading in all of this as well. reading ADDS to the reader. when we read, we are ADDED to.

(by the way, i have not even mentioned the Bible yet!)

okay, i've talked about books, poetry, etc. blogging is that much more personal in my mind. i love getting lost for a good hour or two reading what my friends have written. there is an exhilaration i feel when it comes to keeping up with my friends lives. i love it. but then i also spend time on the pages of COMPLETE STRANGERS!  this is where blogging trips me up; it is so far reaching! it can be so influential! and universal! it's used for everything; an emotional outlet, a social arena, a D-I-Y forum, ministries have them, people in ministry have them, authors have them. it is all so bizarre. i mean, people with a bazillion hits are like famous in my mind in the blog-a-sphere; it is a world of potential.

the truth is that in all of my over-thinking of this whole process, i believe i have learned a lot. and i believe God wants to use me and that pretty much trumps my excuses not to do this.

i hope you are envisioned for things in your pursuits in writing as well. let's step out together.



bethany belisa

All things new, all things new.

So, this is my first true holiday season as a married woman; very exciting stuff! Everything changes with time and new traditions form. I am so looking forward to making those with my best friend whom I am honored to call my husband.

This week we are re-doing our kitchen. Matt's parents flew in from the UK and arrived with us around 9pm and we enjoyed an evening laughing and receiving a few 'confectional gifts' (English chocolate), as Jeremy calls them. :) He talks so quickly and has a pretty thick English accent, so I have to pay close attention or I won't understand a thing he says!

I am truly enjoying this process of creating 'new' traditions. We don't really have any established yet, however, the dreaming aspect and the discovery aspect leave me feeling exceedingly hopeful and expectant of a wonderful life in God; a life rich in love and full of joy. In it all I cannot help but be stirred in the depths to such gratitude at the truth of God, that as He writes me in to this story on the Earth, He makes all things new. As I get the privilege of walking out this life the theme will continue: HE MAKES ALL THINGS NEW!

And I am living my life with these little glimpses, little parallels like 'new traditions', that speak of the mystery and also of the knowledge of God in ways that I will be searching out for the entirety of my life.

All things new, all things new.

peace and safety.

this is a song God gave me back in October, or, i gave it to God back in October, as soon as i could sit back at the piano and plunk out a few notes with my recovering arms, hand and wrist. what a crazy season of life!

You're leading me straight from here

so I will trust Your heart

as You take me by the hand

i know the healing starts

in this place of surrender

of laying down all my life

i'm leaving it all behind for You

Chorus:

i find a peace that only You can offer

a safety that is not of this world

You are my refuge, my rock to stand upon

unshakable, i know i will not be moved

this work You began in me

You will see it through

Holy Spirit, lead and guide

do what You love to do

in this place of surrender

what else can i decide?

i'm leaving it all behind for you

i find a peace that only You can offer

a safety that is not of this world

You are my refuge, my rock to stand upon

unshakable, i know i will not be moved

i choose to live

to be made holy,

to seek You only

i choose to live

to please You

to bless Your heart

i find a peace that only You can offer

a safety that is not of this world

You are my refuge, my rock to stand upon

unshakable, i know i will not be moved

amen! it's truth i now stand on with even more clarity than i had when i wrote this song. i love how God proves himself time and again.

almost one year since the accident. an entry from streams in the desert daily devotional.

i was led to read today's entry from a book my great grandma gave me years ago before she passed away. i used to read it everyday, and probably have gone through it a handful of times, year after year after great grandma milly gave it to me when i was a teenager.

today's entry spoke to me so loudly, and spoke to me so clearly as i read. i have been unpacking the crazy year i have had just these last few weeks(there really is a lot to sift through...) and i am realizing, yet again, the importance of praise and thankfulness. i am convicted that I must OWN my testimony, i must walk in the assurance of God's protection of my life, of Him being my keeper, of Him working all things for my good because i do, i do, i do love Him. i must claim these truths for myself and walk confidently in them knowing i am His and He is mine. oh, how wonderful!

it's funny, not funny ha ha, but very interesting to me that today's entry talkes about Jesus communicating with the Father about his dear friend lazarus. this passage is dear to me, it always has been because it happens in Bethany, which is my name, a city near Jerusalem. but it is even dearer to me now as i have been thinking so much about life and death as i approach my one year anniversay of the car accident that could have been fatal and indeed, has changed my life.

there is a lot to sift through.

anywho, here is the entry from today. :)

“And Jesus lifted up his eyes, and said, Father, I thank thee that thou hast heard me” (John 11:41).

This is a very strange and unusual order. Lazarus is still in the grave, and the thanksgiving precedes the miracle of resurrection. I thought that the thanksgiving would have risen when the great deed had been wrought, and Lazarus was restored to life again. But Jesus gives thanks for what He is about to receive. The gratitude breaks forth before the bounty has arrived, in the assurance that it is certainly on the way. The song of victory is sung before the battle has been fought. It is the sower who is singing the song of the harvest home. It is thanksgiving before the miracle!

Who thinks of announcing a victory-psalm when the crusaders are just starting out for the field? Where can we hear the grateful song for the answer which has not yet been received? And after all, there is nothing strange or forced, or unreasonable in the Master’s order. Praise is really the most vital preparatory ministry to the working of the miracles. Miracles are wrought by spiritual power. Spiritual power is always proportioned to our faith.–Dr. Jowett

PRAISE CHANGES THINGS

Nothing so pleases God in connection with our prayer as our praise, and nothing so blesses the man who prays as the praise which he offers. I got a great blessing once in China in this connection. I had received bad and sad news from home, and deep shadows had covered my soul. I prayed, but the darkness did not vanish. I summoned myself to endure, but the darkness only deepened. Just then I went to an inland station and saw on the wall of the mission home these words: “Try Thanksgiving.” I did, and in a moment every shadow was gone, not to return. Yes, the Psalmist was right, “It is a good thing to give thanks unto the Lord.”–Rev. Henry W. Frost