Friday, May 22, 2009

children and a vanilla ice cream, beat juice and blueberry smoothie. :)

wow. joe and shelly are a couple that are very influential in my life right now. they are sort of taking me under their wing, having me move into their house with them, their four kids, and my 3 other room mates. :) 10 people under one roof! plus whoever else rolls in to record or just hang out. i enjoy being there. the kids are beautiful. so free. yesterday playing with them, cooking dinner, discussing the annunciation of the word "bagel" and then tucking the kids in and singing to them was so great. it just ministered to my soul:)

joe and shelly have the studio on their property, so i will be spending gobbs of time there even if i don't decide to move in entirely. for now it's weekends;) working in kenosha as well;) and going to living light in racine.

im easing into this life.

im trusting my Father with everything.

sometimes change comes easy. the flesh always dies hard.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

desperation. and a cup of coffee.

i am sitting in my kitchen, the sun is shining through the window and i am sipping coffee and making a plan for what i am going to feed grandmother when i get her out of bed( she has new leg braces that i need to figure out how to manuever with the wheel chair...). it's been so long since i was able to enjoy being home like this. the house is quiet and i love these quiet moments with the Lord. i am a desperate woman but this time desperate for all the right things. there is a fire blazing in me, the lion of Judah is rising up inside and ready to roar. it's amazing how the Lord can change a heart, my heart. i am desperate for truth and real love, for family and pure worship, for the Son to illuminate my world. and to do His will.

i am being stirred so intently by Him. yes, intnently. i know that He is intent on having me wholly set on fulfilling His purposes for my life. He is intent on showing me how detailed He is in providing a way for that perfect will. He is intent on showing me His faithfulness and i am blown away.

i am going to be attending Living Light which is a church i began to explore three years ago, like march/april of 2006 maybe. it was there that i learned so much about the Holy Spirit and entering into the fulness of that. and now everything is coming back full circle. i am amazed at how God set this up. if i were to list all the little nuances as to why it is so clear that i am to be there now, three years after all the initial seeds were planted, you might understand why i am certain this is part of His will for my life. but, there are so many i can't possibly write them all on here;)

the Lord loves to prove himself. that's waht i am seeing very clearly. HE is ministering to my inner woman every single day and i feel the fire in my belly again, the all consuming Holy Spirit fire that i forgot could be so sweet. i was so burdened by my curcumstance that when God gave me a way out, i ran towards it knowing that i could be free again. that i could be made whole and alive in Him like never before. i remembered what that was like in the trials but i didn't want to just get back to that point. no, i actually wanted more than what i had before. and i knew that is what God wanted to give me.

the parable of the prodigal son is one of the most gripping stories i have ever read. i read a detailed version of this story that henri Nowen wrote inspired by Rembrandt's painting The Return of the Prodigal Son. the son thought he had lost his inheritance and forfeited everything. he really did but the fathers response changes the whole story. i was kind of feeling, when i was back in ohio, that i had run from God's plan for me, that i had come so close to settling for the wrong everything that i at one point beleived was the right thing.

i felt i had lost my inheritance.

but the Lord has assured me that i did not lose it and what i thought i had lost, He is actually wanting to multiply a hundred fold.

i am so humbled.

i am amazed at how God is healing my heart, binding up my wounds and mending brokeness. it is beautiful. it's funny that i preached a sermon back in november about this very thing, Him binding up our wounds.

everything has a way of coming full circle and connecting in such ways that evoke the deepest praise.

that's all for today!

In the Vine,

bethany belisa

Monday, May 18, 2009

something new.

wow. so much has changed since i last wrote. there is so much new. so much much to just trust the Lord in as life moves forward. i have moved back to illinois after moving to ohio. my heart is so full of passion and love i feel like i could explode sometimes.

there is a battle raging and i am not sleeping. i do not fight as one who beats the air. i have eyes to see. i have ears to hear.

new church.

new recording project.

new friends.

new house to live in.

new job.

new everything.

it's amazing.

i feel so blessed that i did not waist my inheretance but that God is faithful and is releasing His abundant blessings in my life.

i want to love. i want to sacrifice. i want to walk out His will for my life and i finally feel like that is happening. yesterday was almost too perfect of a day...just wonderful. :)

i am also very excited about the future. the season i am in now is a foundation bulding one. the foundation for the rest of my life is being laid right now. a place to plant roots and allow them to go down deep has been handed to me and it's all from seeds that were planted three years ago...

things have a way of coming back around full circle. God's timing is indeed perfect and everything is just making sense. i love this season.

in the Vine.