i am sitting in my kitchen, the sun is shining through the window and i am sipping coffee and making a plan for what i am going to feed grandmother when i get her out of bed( she has new leg braces that i need to figure out how to manuever with the wheel chair...). it's been so long since i was able to enjoy being home like this. the house is quiet and i love these quiet moments with the Lord. i am a desperate woman but this time desperate for all the right things. there is a fire blazing in me, the lion of Judah is rising up inside and ready to roar. it's amazing how the Lord can change a heart, my heart. i am desperate for truth and real love, for family and pure worship, for the Son to illuminate my world. and to do His will.
i am being stirred so intently by Him. yes, intnently. i know that He is intent on having me wholly set on fulfilling His purposes for my life. He is intent on showing me how detailed He is in providing a way for that perfect will. He is intent on showing me His faithfulness and i am blown away.
i am going to be attending Living Light which is a church i began to explore three years ago, like march/april of 2006 maybe. it was there that i learned so much about the Holy Spirit and entering into the fulness of that. and now everything is coming back full circle. i am amazed at how God set this up. if i were to list all the little nuances as to why it is so clear that i am to be there now, three years after all the initial seeds were planted, you might understand why i am certain this is part of His will for my life. but, there are so many i can't possibly write them all on here;)
the Lord loves to prove himself. that's waht i am seeing very clearly. HE is ministering to my inner woman every single day and i feel the fire in my belly again, the all consuming Holy Spirit fire that i forgot could be so sweet. i was so burdened by my curcumstance that when God gave me a way out, i ran towards it knowing that i could be free again. that i could be made whole and alive in Him like never before. i remembered what that was like in the trials but i didn't want to just get back to that point. no, i actually wanted more than what i had before. and i knew that is what God wanted to give me.
the parable of the prodigal son is one of the most gripping stories i have ever read. i read a detailed version of this story that henri Nowen wrote inspired by Rembrandt's painting The Return of the Prodigal Son. the son thought he had lost his inheritance and forfeited everything. he really did but the fathers response changes the whole story. i was kind of feeling, when i was back in ohio, that i had run from God's plan for me, that i had come so close to settling for the wrong everything that i at one point beleived was the right thing.
i felt i had lost my inheritance.
but the Lord has assured me that i did not lose it and what i thought i had lost, He is actually wanting to multiply a hundred fold.
i am so humbled.
i am amazed at how God is healing my heart, binding up my wounds and mending brokeness. it is beautiful. it's funny that i preached a sermon back in november about this very thing, Him binding up our wounds.
everything has a way of coming full circle and connecting in such ways that evoke the deepest praise.
that's all for today!
In the Vine,
bethany belisa
No comments:
Post a Comment