Circles.

Sometimes I feel like I am going in circles in life. Like the Isrealites when they had to go back around the mountain and through the dessert for ages and ages because they missed it. I am not feeling discouraged by this today because I can see so clearly the faithfulness of God to me that he will actually work with me until I actually get something. He won't just leave me as I am. If I need breakthrough in an area of life, He is committed to the process of seeing that breakthrough come to pass in my life. Sometimes I want to rush on through, or I can just feel like I am hitting my head against the same wall I've come up against a thousand times before.

But right now God has my attention.

I am recognizing that I have been here before, in similar circumstances with similar intensities and felt the same reactions in my heart and I am saying, " God, what do you want to speak to me right now? How do I need to respond differently this time? I don't want to miss what you are saying." I just feel that there is something different taking place.

What I am realizing is that God has newness for me; newness in my reactions, newness in my thinking and approaches to things, newness in my attitudes and intentions of my heart in situations, newness in relational depth, newness in my walk with Him, newness in serving. We can hear that 'God is making all things new' a lot in Christian spheres, so much so that we can almost wonder what exactly it means. Well, maybe not you but I have wondered what it means...

I am sensing that this time, for this season and in this location in the Body that I am in right now, God is bringing newness on all of these levels. A refinement of soul and spirit.

What I am trying to say is that
                                                  what has worked in the past is no longer working. 

Any familiar response that I grew accustomed to having before God and before God's people, God is asking me for a more extravagant one, an unfamiliar one, a NEW one. The ways that we have conceptualized God and how the Holy Spirit moves are too narrow for the season we are now in and we have to accept this, we have to see it for ourselves that we NEED NEW THINGS! We NEED MORE OF GOD in ways that we have yet to know, and we will see things we have yet to see.

I am left with a reach in my spirit. There is a reach in my soul.

                                               I am reaching for the more of God the Holy Spirit.

                                                                             I am reaching for the new of God.

gratitude.

i have so much to be grateful for.

this is a super challenging season of life. God is doing a lot in me. I am changing and it's very hard. but i need to keep gratitude on my lips and in my heart.

i started up the biblical counseling program i've been praying about doing for over 2 years now. it's great. i love it. i know God is going to use it in my own life to bring healing as well as equip me to do one of the things i am called to do in this life.

yesterday me and my hubby went shopping for boots and winter coats (it has been years since i've gotten a new winter coat, so, this was kind of exciting;)). i am amazed at the provision of God in our lives that we actually have money in our bank account to go buy the things we need. we are not extravagant people at all but we found ourselves overwhelmed by Gods faithfulness to us as we were in the mall. it sounds cheesy, i know, but Gods provision in our lives is very real and very evident to us and we can't overlook things like buying winter coats and boots! things like food in the kitchen and heat in these walls:) i am so content and so grateful for what our life looks like, even as every season changes. s

this is a bio my hubby wrote about our music. i think it's stellar! we call ourselves ivy thieves.

"Ivy Thieves are a husband and wife duo fusing the sounds of etherial rock with rootsy acoustic folk earthiness. Stories of the sky and stories of the soil are unpacked through the tight harmonies and intricate guitar work of this anglo-american pair. These are stories of life, love, trial and favor; hope, suffering and grace, written from the secret place of the heart. Ivy Thieves are a band who want to connect on more than an an audience/performer level; they want to invite you into their journey through vulnerability and engaging music and leave you with something more than a song. "

i love my husbands ability to write. it is just one of his many gifts that God has given him:) i love working on music with him. it's been pretty stagnant but a few shows are coming up and i so enjoy crafting our sound with him. he is so creative.

super challenging season. i think the last 2 years has taken more of a tole on me than i realised. just yesterday some clarity was brought to my situation. i see very clearly that physical healing and emotional healing are two separate things, especially in regards to a trauma. yeesh.

alright, it's been real. 

over and out.