Saturday, April 28, 2012


i am excited! 

my hubby and i worked out our final song today for the show on monday. and started coming up with our extended set list for the grand opening of the community center which is next saturday. we get an even longer set for that!

i recently received a prophetic word about my life being made for more than just the arts; to God, i am much more than an artist and that is not the only sphere i am supposed to function in. in light of this very specific word, i feel a weight as matt and i finally begin to pursue music knowing it is not supposed to be the only thing going in my life. i used to always think that it would be, and i know we are good enough to go after it. but God's will is ultimately what we are both after so i am truly seeking to have a balanced and rendered heart as i learn how to dream in God about my life and future with my husband on this earth. 

you see, dreaming is an odd thing for me lately. being married, i don't know exactly what shifts take place in a woman's heart, but i know that there has been a lot of shifting in my heart and i don't want to step out of line or be so narrow minded in my dreams and vision for how i want my life to play out. there is nothing that i want to cling tightly to, nothing at all, not even music. i always clung to my dreams of music so tightly and it was folly. whenever anyone clings to anything that is not God himself, it is folly. our hearts aren't made for those lesser lovers. my heart isn't made for those lesser lovers. 

so, in seeing that God is the better lover, the best actually, i have found that my heart for music is barely there, which is strange for me because in the past i have been such an all or nothing person; i have been all about specific things and in my zeal and passion i have made those around me all about it too. i'm good at that, getting people excited. but something is different; i think it's the shifts i a fore mentioned; the core of my being has moved and settled into a position that is immovable and has been placed upon something rock solid.

it's cool, actually, to recognize these shifts, even though i am clearly struggling to adequately or accurately describe them with words. that's another thing i used to be so good at; expression. now i don't really mind being unable to express myself in a moment because i am secure in God and the reasons i was confident in expressing myself before were all selfish reasons anyway. yet another shift in my heart;)

so, as we step out in faith and are faithful with what is put before us with music in these coming months, we know that it is not all that there is for us in this lifetime. and that is where my excitement is coming from;) i know that any involvement in worship music is an act of service and pouring my life out and any involvement in 'performing', as it were, is a stewarding of the talents God's placed in my hands; both are stewardship actually. 

i love the definition God is bringing to my life; we do things his way and on his terms, not my way on my terms. thank the Lord! just letting you all know that my heart was NOT in this place 3 years ago when i first came to kenosha and started attending living light. seriously, God has done an overhaul in me! and i love it:) i love HIM!

are there areas in your life that you know you need to allow the Lord access but are hesitating because you know there will be an overhaul??? trust me, it's better to allow him access because he wants what is best for you anyway! HE IS TRUSTWORTHY!


bethany belisa

Friday, April 27, 2012


i love learning!

and it's a good thing, too, because i feel that i have a lot to learn in this season of life that i am in.

one thing major i am learning is how to be a team player. my hubby and i are being very committed to practicing together because our very first show is coming up (which i've mentioned in previous posts) but there is a lot of patience and flexibility that is required when writing music or working creatively with another person. you see, musicians can be pretty set on their own ideas and therefore, pretty temperamental when it comes to any other idea being shared while songwriting/crafting a song. there is a process of getting used to how the other person thinks, understanding how they want to communicate their music and why, how they play their instrument and why, etc. it's a lengthy process, actually, but matt and i are doing pretty well. i think we have settled on a sound that we both like and are comfortable with.

you see, i tend to write (lately) very folk style music on the guitar. i typically write (in the past) very pop/rock-driven or ballad type songs on the piano. i guess there have been phases in my songwriting; after all, i have been making up my own stuff since i was a little girl. i am big on rhyme in my lyrics and i love pretty, flowing melodies that soar and express in raw emotive ways.

now matt, on the other hand, was in a rock band in england for 6 years. yea, he's good. really, really good;) and so stinkin' creative when it comes to color parts on the guitar or piano and arranging the song once it's done. he likes edgy sounds, atmospheric sound-scapes that he can create with all of his tech-y guitar gear. he likes big sounds and big vocals. he is a great singer too.

we are learning how to blend our two completely different stylistic leanings and tendencies together. it's fun. :)

we have to learn and respect what we each are good at, what our strengths are and allow each other to function within those strengths and also be actively supportive and drawing those strengths out of each other.

i always prayed for a man that would be my team-mate. i didn't want to lead such separated lives and only have a few things in common. i wanted to do pretty much everything together, and look, God gave me a crazy-sick musician husband! YAY! we do pretty much do everything together. we are a team:) it's just, sometimes, something you have to learn how to be and we are learning to be a team in music.

go team gainsford!

that is just ONE of the things i am learning at present.

what are YOU learning?



Tuesday, April 24, 2012


i really, really enjoy life. really. my life is beautiful! i feel i have been given incredible gifts to enjoy and i want to be diligent to actually do so. i can be too serious at times and i rob myself of the joy life is meant to be.

i cherish experiences and love tangible things i can touch and smell and see and hear.

today i am experiencing jane eyre;) i LOVE this book and am enjoying the beauty of the written word in old english; i just love it! the purity and accuracy of descriptions and emotions! it's so eloquent!

i just experienced purchasing my very first workbook for a counseling course i am going to take. i am very nervous and feel a weightiness because i actually know that this is something the Lord has spoken to me to pursue in this lifetime. it is the beginning of something. beginnings are a whole raw and unfamiliar experience; i do not know how this will all flesh out. i don't know if i will actually become a counselor and have that as my career or not. i do know, however, that as i go through this course God is going to be working on a bajillion things in my character. part of me does NOT feel ready for this because i know the preparation phase of something is the hardest part and demands the most hard work and perseverance because you don't know how it's going to go. i am anticipating a pretty intense season as i dive into this.

and of course, this morning i experienced and enjoyed a blissful cup of coffee while sitting next to my husband. i LOVE my morning coffee!

i am honestly NOT looking forward to experiencing my run this afternoon. it's gunna' be a real push for me to run at all today! sometimes i wonder why i even exercise. i used to freakin' love it! maybe i will one day reach that point again.

there have been some major shifts of direction in these last few weeks, so, within these transitions i know i need to focus on what's around me and learn to enjoy the here and now, the things that God has put before me to do in this season of life. it's not easy but i want to get better and better at it over these next few months; that's why i said i want to be diligent to enjoy life. if i focus on what i am not doing, i will miss everything that is right in front of me, even my friends and my marriage.

i put this picture of chocolates up because i REALLY ENJOY CHOCOLATE!!!! :D

there is so much to enjoy in life.

what do you need to learn to enjoy in yours?



Tuesday, April 17, 2012

helpful advice for creatives.

this is a short and sweet little session and i feel like this guy is speaking straight to me today! i mean, i know some of my songs are good, some are better, but they aren't GREAT. i have a lot of work to do and a long way to go. and i need to keep working.


listen to this video!

and whatever you do, don't stop being creative.



Monday, April 16, 2012


i feel like a recluse today. if i were truly reclusive, i would not be blogging. but, this is about as much social interaction as i desire today. ha!

it's windy out and i am still in my pj's, not wanting to brave the elements and run errands. i feel like it's a good day for an evaluation of my life's priorities or something.

one thing i am thinking about today is how i am such a pro at taking myself too seriously. that's why i don't write  on here half the time! geeze, i've got problems. i was sifting through my old xanga (yes, i had a xanga and i kept at that for 7 years!) my word, i wrote in that thing alllll the time! i need to quit this whole 'i'm so serious' thing. it's pretty annoying. i was primarily looking through my xanga because i was digging up some old song lyrics i knew i had posted on there years ago.

 but it led me to be so grateful for how my life has turned out! honestly, God is so faithful. i say 'turned out' as if my life is randomly just good now. but, that's not what i mean. i have come to see that nothing in the kingdom of God is random. i am humbled as i look back on all the different seasons so far in my short 26 years on this earth and the beautiful orchestration of the hand of God in every season of my life and all that he has allowed or ordained. it's just awesome!

i think i have been taking myself too seriously because i am a part of a church that is so solid doctrinaly and i don't want anything to be theologically off. and God has shifted so much of my thinking that i often think i could, in a moment, revert back to the ways i used to think and write from that place. but, i just have to come to terms with the places i have been and the way that God has used all things for my good because i love him.

that's kind of a huge relief!

a few things i am excited for this week:

- me and my hubbies up coming show
- finding the right paint color for my 'accent wall' in my living room
- reading the next few chapters of jane eyre for book club (how have i never been in a book club before?!)
- learning how to make origami butterflies!



Sunday, April 15, 2012

songwriting. lalala. ;)

Today my honey and i are working on a set for our VERY FIRST SHOW TOGETHER EVER IN THE HISTORY OF OUR LIVES!!!! EEK! we have 15 days 'till the show. it's going to be great!

if you couldn't tell, i am a tad bit excited;)

here is a sneak peak: some lyrics i wrote for matt last fall.



I know that I let you down
It wont keep you from coming ‘round
I know that’s you’ll let me down
But I will keep in this love we’ve found
Yes, I will keep in this love we’ve found

It won’t always be so hard
Believe that this is only a season
Hold onto hope within your heart
Someday we may see the reason
Someday we may see the reason

Why, why, why, why
Why, why, why

Someday we may see the reason
Someday we may see the reason why

this song is really folksy, which i love and is how i write a lot lately. really excited to be arranging it with my love and singing it with him. 

we know that music is part of our calling but it's not about us. we won't move forward unless we know God's hand is on it because anything we do in our own strength will just fall to the ground. so, unless God builds this house, it will not stand! (i LOVE the Word of God!) i have not wanted to ever pursue it before because i have not known peace in my heart. but now, being married to my perfect counter-part, i know a rightness in things. ahhh, the peace of God that calms our human hearts and wandering minds! AND the perfect timing of God. sometimes there just needs to be ONE THING put into place but that one thing might take a bazillion years to shift, but once it does, the timing is right and what you've been waiting for can finally happen. what a great God to be so perfect in his sovereignty and ordinance of our lives.



bethany belisa