recluse.

i feel like a recluse today. if i were truly reclusive, i would not be blogging. but, this is about as much social interaction as i desire today. ha!

it's windy out and i am still in my pj's, not wanting to brave the elements and run errands. i feel like it's a good day for an evaluation of my life's priorities or something.

one thing i am thinking about today is how i am such a pro at taking myself too seriously. that's why i don't write  on here half the time! geeze, i've got problems. i was sifting through my old xanga (yes, i had a xanga and i kept at that for 7 years!) my word, i wrote in that thing alllll the time! i need to quit this whole 'i'm so serious' thing. it's pretty annoying. i was primarily looking through my xanga because i was digging up some old song lyrics i knew i had posted on there years ago.

 but it led me to be so grateful for how my life has turned out! honestly, God is so faithful. i say 'turned out' as if my life is randomly just good now. but, that's not what i mean. i have come to see that nothing in the kingdom of God is random. i am humbled as i look back on all the different seasons so far in my short 26 years on this earth and the beautiful orchestration of the hand of God in every season of my life and all that he has allowed or ordained. it's just awesome!

i think i have been taking myself too seriously because i am a part of a church that is so solid doctrinaly and i don't want anything to be theologically off. and God has shifted so much of my thinking that i often think i could, in a moment, revert back to the ways i used to think and write from that place. but, i just have to come to terms with the places i have been and the way that God has used all things for my good because i love him.

that's kind of a huge relief!

a few things i am excited for this week:

- me and my hubbies up coming show
- finding the right paint color for my 'accent wall' in my living room
- reading the next few chapters of jane eyre for book club (how have i never been in a book club before?!)
- learning how to make origami butterflies!

love,

bethanybelisa